This is something i wrote on another blog of mine, about a year and a half ago, on 8th of april 2013. I thought it was something worth sharing. Hope you guys enjoy it.
Hello dear internet world, i must say i am indeed happy that i can write again for everyone to see. I have envisioned myself writing about this subject for quite a while now, but something has somehow managed to stop me every time, untill today.
Today is a special day, a day of hope and new promise for the future that lies ahead of every one of us. It is Monday, the beggining of a new week. We should not fear mondays because they offer the prospects of renewal. Whatever we feel like we did wrong on the previous week we can fix it this time.
This week i am starting to write again. Because if i am to be honest to myself, i feel the most free-spirited and hearfull person when i do so. My imagination can be free when i make up things and put them together in sentences. There is something magical about the mixing of words that brings joy in every cell of my being.
Prelude being enough i will bring the subject to it's table.
Have you ever wondered what is the purpose of life? Many would answer this question as follows: the purpose of life is to give life a purpose, and i would say they are right but i must add. Life is about that and much more, life is about finding love, safeguarding it with all strength and sharing it with as many people you can.
Love is the most precious coin, we human beings can offer one another. Money is but a shadow of what true love can buy. Love can buy family, friends, connections, memories for a life time and beyond. Can you recall anything like it?I sure can not.
I will forever believe in the power of love as long as i draw breath and spread shadow around me. It gives me strength . It give me hope.
I have little to no friends that share my vision of life. If i were to tell them that i only search for the girl of my dreams and nothing less they would, most of the times, laugh and tell me i should comfort myself with what i can get.
I must decline the offer of fake love, because i do not believe in it, i have the power to stand my ground for as long as it takes. I will not forfeit, neither free neither at gun point.
I must say, i would not be as strong i am today in my convictions if it were not for the events of last year's september. On the very last friday of the month i have found myself in the company of "the girl next door" type of girl, and i found out how love tasted like for the first time.
If i could turn back time, i would turn it one thousand times for me to be able to kiss that girl again, again and again. Time froze for me that day and a great deal of my soul is constantly thinking of that moment, i fear i will not get it back untill i find the girl next door again.
Unfortunately i was not strong or wise enough to make the right steps for me to keep her at my side.
Though unfortunate as it may seem that i find myself stranded alone with the most confused set of feelings a human being can have i regret nothing.
I had my first kiss on that bridge 6 months ago and it happened with the perfect girl which made the experience more than i could have ever wished for.
It is probably one of my most vivid memories. It was late friday night, and this was the first time we met after knowing eachother and talking online for a few years or so with pauses
Honestly i would wait 300 years or more, if it were possible, and i knew i could relive the same experience for the first time once more. I am a constant dreamer, and in my case it is dreams that keep me awake. I would be lost without my dreams and pray the world never becomes short of us.
I think the first kiss experience is something that fundamentaly changes who we are, if we find the right person. For me being the incurable romantic that i am, it helped me find hope again. I had lost hope for a long period of my life and learned to live without it as well.It was never a good place to be, but i never saw a way out untill.
Now i can't keep myself from wondering. What if? What if i had told her in that moment and second, quote " This is exacty how i envisioned my first kiss would be, it is perfect and i now can go quietly dive into the sunset knowing a great wish has been fullfilled"
The girl never knew that was my first kiss to begin with, untill i told her by mistake, online. As surprised as she was and confrunted with the question of why didn't i tell her before, so was i. I never thought something that simple could of made the difference. And there i was, to late.
I have kissed a few girls since but nothing even comes close to what i felt on that day. I honestly felt like the rules of gravity, of physics or any other man made rule did not apply to me anymore.
After we took separate ways, i ran with all of my will, i did not ran from anything, i just felt this incredible energy inside of me and i didn’t know what to do with it. I knew i wanted to shout to the world, to the entire universe if possible. To shout a big thank you to the heaveans and everybody in it for conspiring and bringing me there.
I stopped in front of the church and i thank God. I ran like a mad man...a mad man in love. I felt like i could change the world. I felt so powerfull that i thought nothing in the world could bring me down.
After being given birth into this world , that one moment when it was the two of us as one, i must say , i felt more alive than i can ever remember/imagine. Everything had colour and meaning.
I will end my statement by saying. I will fight and find that feeling once again.
I will always remember the girl i shared my first kiss with. How was your first kiss like?